She is in my trunk
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
