oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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