you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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