She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
