singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize
