dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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