i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
