return my video game
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
