Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
