It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
