yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
