This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Randomize
