I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
