batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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