North Korea, Best Korea!
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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