i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize