Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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