At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
