Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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