Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
