I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
