not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
