I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
