its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize