ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
