Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
