My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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