did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
