It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
