As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
