so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
