Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
