YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
