Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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