ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
