You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize