he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
