Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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