someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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