Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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