i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
