How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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