she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
