I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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