yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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