You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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