don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
