Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
