Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
