Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
