Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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