My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
