So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
