i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
