just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
