if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize