Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
