I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
