woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize