i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
This is the high leading the old right now
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
