But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize