I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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