Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
