Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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