Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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