Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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