I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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